Tell Us Your "What's Next" Moment

[Hybrid Mom]

Every mom we've ever known and all of us at Hybrid Mom have come to the stark realization that we have to be something other than just "mom". Some of us come to that realization sooner than others, but invariably we all eventually wonder what's next?

One mom told us "I had my "what's next" moment when I looked around my house and at my children and realized I was no longer using my brain or the skills I learned in college, so I started my own business."

What's your "what's next" moment?

[Liz]

I might be in the minority here, but... is the real question here about how you define your identity? Your purpose in life?

I think it's more than being "just a mom," which, frankly, is a pretty important job. It's more than your career or your job. All of us have many identities that we assume throughout our lives, as daughter/sister/friend/job title/wife/mother, and they're always changing, but none of them are really who we are. I'm not saying I've figured it out, I'm just saying.... sometimes it's OK to not have the "What's Next" looming. Sometimes it's OK to just BE, instead of always doing, doing, doing.

I look at my two year old son, and I think, I must remind myself to just treasure this time -- it's so short, "what's next" will come soon enough without me pushing it!

[Linda Shapiro]

I really like your 'being in the moment' attitude -- we should all take some of your advice every now and then.

[Bethany]

Yep I agree too... sometimes we are running around in the craziness, not taking the time to absorb what is happening RIGHT NOW. Which, for me, is some definitely good things. ;-)

[Jenn]

i dont think your the minority...i actually feel the same way you feel....you have some wonderful insight and you are one brave, intelligent woman to express your feelings so honestly, and, to actually be in the moment...i am SO getting there more and more each day! My son is turning six on tuesday and i so desperately want another child...my husband is very scared, but, as you mention, the baby will arrive once we stop all the running, running, running and stressing, etc....thanks for your words and keep up that awesome attitute...to all of the other ladies, you amaze me as well....you have all done soo much for yourselves, for your families, for me and the other members here...HYBRID MOMS rocks!

[Mary Davis]

When your kids grown up, they'll 'get it' and realize that you were the 'glue' that held it all together for your family! Hang in there!

[Sugar and Sprouts]

Believe I or not, MY “what next” moment hit me when I first found out I was pregnant. I was the normal Type-A, all out climber in my job, almost pushy at some points. My “what next” came when I realized I would need to figure out HOW to be a Mom. It was at that moment that I realized for me, the antithesis of most almost Moms, my new “career move” had to be out of the workplace and into being a Mom.

Maybe I will eventually go nuts and want back in the rat race full-time, but after two-and-a-half years, I cannot imagine when that would even begin to occur to me. I think I just waited SO long to be a Mom, and in that time never even considered it could be the thing that most fulfilled me and gave me peace, that I don’t want to think of this moment, every moment as being as fleeting as they are. I get one chance, just one to be a Mom. There is NO other job in this world, for me at this point in my life, which could possibly give me more meaning.

[Mary Davis]

I agree! Spend all the time possible with your kids NOW! My oldest child is nearly 15 and will start driving in the fall........and it seems like last week that we were teaching her to WALK! I have worked in my business for my kids' entire lives, and I've been lucky to be able to balance my schedule between home and work, BUT, I know I've missed out on some things and been 'tuned out' sometimes because of things going on with my business.........and, now, I turn around, and realize my daughter will go off to college in 4 years, and my son will follow in six years! You're right when you say that being a mother gives you more meaning than anything else you could do! Enjoy every minute!

[MicheleD]

I'm in the midst of my "what's next" moment.

Two years ago, we moved from our long-time home in S. California to Phoenix, where we didn't know a soul, for a job my husband accepted. His company laid him off a year later without a severance package, right around the time I started to get used to a slower work pace. I intentionally reduced my work because the cost of living in Phoenix allowed me to and wanted to be a more meaningful part of my children's lives. My husband was unemployed for more than six months, and I fell into a serious depression over it all. It would take time to re-start my business to a level that would support our family of five. Time wasn't on our side as bills piled up, so I put myself back on the job market. The thought of having to get a full-time job to help support our family broke my heart...my dreams were coming to an end!

My friends and family were very encouraging during my "dark" period and often said half joking, "This will make great content for your book..." and "You're so strong. You'll make it."

You see, I've held a dream to write a book for many years. But have been held back by fear (no need to list them all here, but some of you will know what I mean). So what's next for me is finding a literary agent and publisher.

[Vicky]

Start with the first page ~ eventually you will finish it when it is the right time. Maybe write for 1/2 hour every night after dineer. Good Luck!

[Vicky]

I turned 50 last month. I just started :WHATS NEXT", which for me is to return to college & take some courses to get my brain going! I have a 13 & 16 year old who are very independent & I decided that I needed to prepare myself for the eventual empty nest (5 years from now) by going back to school. My program is part time, I am taking two classes both on the same day & it will be two years until I get the certificate. I will start to use my brain again other than talking to the dogs, cleaning house & working for the PTA (they are great don't get me wrong...)

I am taking courses in the area that I used to work in & have a degree in but I am out of touch with what is going on now in that field now & this will make me more marketable when I actually go back to working.

We are all living longer & I see myself learning & being involved until I can no longer walk. Oh & let us all now forget that Social Secuirty may be backrupt by the time we need it~

Good luck to everyone & write back with your "What's Next" Moment.

[EJ Suh]

Mine was when I realized that no matter what the situation or the relationship, the only person I could depend on wholeheartedly was myself. I asked myself "WHAT'S NEXT?" a lot during my last job and I knew that was a sign that I had to move on and grow, at the speed I needed; not someone elses.

After taking a maternity sabbatical and taking some classes, I learned that we should all do what our talents are in while growing other ones. Now I ask myself: What boundaries and limitations can I erase?

[Gail Klanchesser]

My what's next moment was this past Spring. I realized that I was trying to do too much. When I stopped working full-time after my 3rd child was born I began volunteering a lot for the school, in town, etc. After my 4th child I was still doing it, plus playgroups, activities, etc. Then one day I realized we were all overscheduled, me more than anyone else. I was trying to be the supermom and do everything for everyone, and not much for me. The kids were with me, but we weren't always doing things together. This was also the same time I was trying to organize and grow a small business. It has been a slow progression, but I have learned to say no, and not be the first to volunteer for things. Life is moving slower, my youngest children and I now enjoy days where we never get in the car to go anywhere, my life is not so hectic. I have small pockets of time to work on my business and I'm not feeling stressed or overwhelmed when I am out of the house for work. I feel that I'm not rushing them and I'm enjoying myself and my family a lot more.