Mothers Need Time-Outs Too

An Interview With the Authors of Mothers Need Time-Outs, Too

Q:    Why did you write this book?

A:    As friends, we were struggling with how hard it was to be a mother in today’s society.  There were all sorts of things we wished we’d known when our kids were babies – like, it’s not worth trying to be perfect; it’ll just burn you out!  We started looking for solutions and talking to women all over America and abroad – and soon realized we were all in the same boat.  We thought we could help other women enjoy their kids more, right now, have better relationships with their husbands, and feel more personally fulfilled, if we could find a way to share what we learned over the years.

Q:    What qualifies you to write this book?

A:    The three of us – mothers of ten children between us, ranging in age from 4 to 14 – come from different backgrounds and have different personalities that bring a genuine richness of perspective to the book.  We represent three mothering styles and think women will identify with our experiences and benefit from hearing stories from the hundreds of mothers across America and abroad with whom we talked over the years of doing research for the book.

Q:    SELFISH?  Isn’t it counterintuitive for mothers to be selfish?  What makes you think that this book will resonate with them?

A:    We are talking about taking care of, and respecting, yourself.  What we have learned – through experience and research – is that you can give more to others when you’re taking care of yourself.  Women are beginning to realize it’s all too much: they’re trying to be selfless – to be the perfect moms – and often they’re exhausted and feel like they’re failing.  We want to change women’s perceptions of what makes them “good mothers.”

Q:    So…what exactly do you mean by “time-outs” for moms?

A:    We talk about how important it is to find something that makes you feel peaceful and happy, that replenishes your energy and your spirit, and helps you navigate the stress of daily life.  Time-outs can take on different forms:

-- Fun or relaxing activities

-- Nurturing relationships with people other than your kids

-- Cutting yourself a break in terms of your standards so that you can slow down and live more fully in the moment.

-- Taking time for yourself reduces stress

-- Women tend to blame themselves for being inadequate mothers when often perfectionism is the culprit

-- Only 20% of Americans feel passionate about what they do

-- A study has shown that increasing intimacy with your husband from once a month to once a week makes you as happy as getting a $50K/year raise, and yet most of the women we spoke with said that they were too tired and distracted to initiate, or even desire, sex with their partners

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