Work/life balance frustration

[Gail Klanchesser]

I'm frustrated, very frustrated.

Over the past few weeks I felt that if I was excelling in one area of my life another area was being neglected. It all came to a head yesterday. I went to my networking group meeting, I haven't been to one in a month. It was a great meeting with great conversations afterward. I even have a few leads on possible upcoming classes. My phone was ringing towards the end so I just turned the volume down. I left there later than planned and ran to Staples for a few things and my phone rang again. It was the same number. I answer and it someone wanting to book a private class, yay! I need to get back into doing private classes! I rush home to be with the little kids so my husband can get his errands done (it is single digit numbers outside so we're not dragging the kids everywhere right now). Five minutes after he leaves another call, another private class request! Woo Hoo! Now I need to figure out when, can I do the 2 together at my house, etc. So I try to look at my calendar in outlook and that's when the kids realize I'm home and want me. Only me. I make lunch, play a little, but every time I try to sit in front of the computer someone starts to howl or try to sit on my lap. Almost 3 hours later I finally email both women about dates for classes. This is after tearing my hair out realizing that I don't have a lot of time in the next 2 weeks for them due to other volunteering & kids activities.

I'm behind as it is, I have Girl Scout paperwork/organizing to do. I recently cleaned out a filing cabinet and found some insurance paperwork/forms I need to catch up on. I started a powerpoint for a webinar that I have to tweak, I have yet to update my website. I have to update the road race website. I have banking to balance for the school supporters and I haven't vacuumed the house or done laundry in 2 days. ACK!!!!!

When I was working full-time I felt so successful at things. But now I realize I fell into the 'supermom' trap when I stopped working full time. I became almost a full time volunteer. I began to realize this last Spring and began to resign and step back from things. I am no longer chair of school supporters, although I did remain on as treasurer. But I no longer have to be at meetings and just write/mail checks and visit the bank when needed. I resigned my seat as an alternate on a town board and stopped trying to take my 1 & 3 year olds to classes and things on a regular basis. The idea was to spend more time at home and focus on things here - my house and my business. But I still have Girl Scouting (leader, cookie mom, local finance person), alternate on one board, member of another town board, commissioner on a regional board, a business I'm trying to grow, treasurer/webmaster for school supporters, committee member/webmaster for road race (part of school supporters) and 4 kids who have activities and needs from me as well. Oh, did I mention all the regular housework we try to fit in so that our home doesn't look like a tornado just swept through it?

I've been slowly saying no, but I think I need to do it more often. Next to go I think will be the collection of checkbooks that don't have my personal name on them. I have 4 checkbooks for groups that I am treasurer or finance manager for! I haven't balanced anyone's account in a few months other than my own personal banking. I love being a commissioner with the regional planning commission, but that might have to go as well.

I want to be here for my family, I want my business to grow. We need the small amount of income I bring in. Also in my venting I forgot to add in here that I also have a part-time job outside the home! But I make more teaching than I do there so as much as I like what I do there, I am ready to let it go if I can get my own business up and running more successfully.

Life will become more simple when my youngest 2 eventually enter school, but my sanity cannot wait for my 1 year old to be old enough to enter kindergarten. I have so many interesting ideas going through my head of what I want to do with the kids and business, but my ideas are bigger than the idea I have to devote to them and that is my frustration.